We, the cashiers and gas station attendants of your local gas station, would like for everyone in the world to read and follow these rules when stopping at a gas station. If the gas station has a deli (like mine and a few others in our chain), there are a few more rules that need to be followed.
Gas Station Etiquette
Get off of your cell phone.
Don’t get mad when the prices are too high. I don’t make the prices.
Turn your engine off. Don’t leave the nozzle unattended. You’ll get pump stopped and then you’ll complain.
Don’t ask to charge anything so you can “pay it back (insert date/time).” We can’t do that.
Don’t yell at me when I ask you for an ID for cigarettes. It’s my job, it’s the law, and it’s not my problem. If you don’t know to have your ID ready, get out of my store and stop complaining that I’m carding your 18-year-old ass.
Know that I won’t sell you tobacco when some kid just came in looking for the same thing without an ID. See above rule.
Look for the milk, soda, ice cream, etc. They’re usually in the same general area in every store: in the back, in the cooler/freezer.
Don’t tell me that your scratch ticket is a winner when the machine says it’s not. Take it up with the state. There’s nothing I can do.
Don’t order your coffee at my counter. Do you see the big Dunkin’ Donuts sign over there?
Don’t order your sandwich at my counter. Do you see the big Subway sign over there?
Know that it says to pre-pay inside if you’re paying with cash. There’s a huge sign that says so by the pump you’re at.
If something isn’t ringing up, don’t say it must be free. It isn’t. Stop saying it.
If I ask you if you’d like anything else, don’t say “a bag of money/a million dollars” or something similar. I get that enough. You’re annoying.
At the deli counter, don’t say “not too thin and not too thick.” That’s a given.
Don’t complain that the items in your call-in order are too thin/too thick. If you want it exactly as you want it, come in and order it and let us know. We’re not mind readers.
Similarly, if I tell you your order will be ready in half an hour and you show up in ten minutes, your order won’t be ready. You can’t get it for free that way and your right to complain has been taken away.
Don’t give me a $20 bill for a 50 cent paper. That’s just evil.
Don’t ask for change for a $100 bill at 5:30 in the morning. We obviously don’t have it.
Tip the cashier 10% when s/he sells you a winning scratch ticket that’s $100 or more.
Clean your mess at the table. We’re not your parents, and you’re 70 years old. You can clean it up. At least wipe the crumbs on the floor.
Men, stop peeing on the walls of the bathroom. You complain that it smells, yet you don’t aim for the toilet seat and pee gets everywhere.
We know you want your meat/cheese sliced for sandwiches, but how do you want it sliced? If you say for sandwiches, I’ll slice it how I please.
Get everything you need and pay for it all at once. Don’t come back four times because you keep forgetting. It holds up lines and wastes everyone’s time.
I can’t pick you a winning ticket. You get what you get.
When the lights are off and the door is locked, we’re not open. Stop asking.
If the lottery machine reads your bet slip incorrectly, it’s not our fault so don’t get mad.
If there’s a deal, like our BOGO Dasani 1-liters, we mean the 1-liters, not the 20 oz bottles, so read the sale signs. It’s not that hard.
If we give you the wrong cigarettes, let us know! Don’t complain when you pay and it’s wrong. Look at them and tell us or speak up.
Don’t leave the freezer/cooler doors open.
We do have ice. Look for the ice freezer that has ICE in big letters.
No, we’re not out of newspapers. We hid them on you.
STOP GIVING ME WET MONEY. Do you realize how disgusting that is?
We're not always chipper, specifically when any of the above are not followed or it's early in the morning.
